Day 432: Happiness And An Ebarassin Note From The Mom

Happiness is a day when I hear no storm, feel no storm, can enjoy my out of doors... and go right back... IN OF DOORS!!! Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat... You get pitcher.

[Note from the Mom:

Huge storm cells have formed to our far northwest, travelling southeast... and many to the west and south of us. They've gotten well within Luke's storm "feeling" range, and they've dissipated.

Luke keeps wanting to go outside, and once out there... he cocks his head in all directions and sniffs the air. I can see him creating charts and graphs, in his head. I've been watching radar as well as for his panic... but it's not happened.

There's no way I can explain his keen sense of weather, nor any way you would believe me if I did. He often gives me the sign in the pre-dawn hours, that we will have afternoon storms.

That said, just as every the Mom knows... "An ounce of prevention is worf a pound of cure"...

And every morning with a threatening forecast... which is almost every single morning these days, I carefully dry the bathtub/shower and place a pillow in the tub.

I tilt the blinds in order to get light, but I leave them down in case he panics and tries to break out a window (he has never done this, but he will either attempt to squeeze himself through an opened door... or throw himself against a door I'm trying to open. Through GRRH, I've come to know a few dogs who will break out windows and doors during thunderstorms... so I'm extra cautious).

I unplug the computer and all other components under the antique drafting table that serves as my computer desk... and also his holiday / weekend bunker in the suburbs.

And because I worry about fire if the power goes out and the pump runs dry, I unplug the aquarium filter (poor fish, but I always crank it back up first thing, when I walk in the door). I always did this for Comet, so that's nothing new.

I watch radar on my second monitor at work, and I bolt home when I see there's going to be a problem. I've come to plan my life around the weather and Luke's fears... and while I sometimes grow weary of the worry... that emotion is miniscule in comparison to the depth my heart breaks when he's in his panic.

You all know, because you feel it yourself for your precious ones... I will do ANYthing and EVERYthing for my boys. I will face and fight for them,... all of their fears and neglects. I will do everything in my power to meet their every need, build their confidence and make up for past (life) indscretions.

Luke's original "owners" listed the reason for surrendering him as...

"bolts inside during thunderstorms"

Which came first? His fear... or his neglect?

The answer will always tumble around in the back of my mind, but in reality, it doesn't matter. What matters is how we handle each day now. And I work hard to build his confidence and assuage his fears.

It's hard to pretend his reasons for panic are unreal, to act as if everything is fine and life is normal... while brushing him for four hours (3:45 of which is done with the back of the brush, because he has no more hair that should possibly come out!)... or offering him cheddar cheese or berry treats!

If I could wish anything for him, I would wish longevity, no more lumps and braveness.

But the bottom line... the point of all of this is...

For all he means to me, for all the love he's brought into my life, for the tenderness he shows me when he puts me to bed and snuggles with me in the early morning hours... for all Luke deserves and the many ways he is just my Luke....

My heart will never stop breaking over his panic, but I will gladly do everything I can for him each and every day for the next thirty or forty years, maybe more (but it will certainly be from either the grave or the rest home)... I will gladly do it.

He's just that special, and so is his brother. Luke and Bleu mean EVERYthing to me!!!]

Day 206: Dogs Wif Blogs

I am truly honored to be welcomed into and included wif elite group of Dogs Wif Blogs!

Golden Boy Luke gone global and best part is I make more friends all round the world!

You know how I love my buddy Dino in Taipei... and now I make friends wif pretty Golden girl Amber-Mae who live in Selangor, Malaysia... and also a fun family called The Four Musketeers what are two mini Shnowzers and two Goldens who live in Singapore.

I say it over and over... but it good to be Luke.

And not many times do I have urge to ring up Chapter One and just let em know how I rise above in spite of how long I was held down.

I try not to but sometime imagine they probably think I either been put to eternal nap or aggrivatin someone else right now like they think I did them.
Sometime I don't want em to know how ultra-uber-utterly-over-the-top wonderful life is for me now, and sometime I do.

Sometime I want em to feel good bout finally makin right decision to let me be all I posed to be but still feel bad on a counta all they missed by stiflin me... and sometime I just want em to continue their life what was so easy to reject my needs for eight plus years and not look back... on a counta I try not to.

And that make me reflect on all that make Luke... Luke. And I sometime wish I been here all my life so I could be here longer cause I love this life and this Mom wif all fiber of my bein and just wish forever was longer... ya know?

But if not for all that stuff, I might not truly appreciate all it mean to be Dog Wif Blog!

(I'm listed on Page 6 and am #1093... and that means there's almost 1100 friends for me to make and blogs for you to check out!)

Day 151: I Heart My Mom!

Wif thanks most specially to My Aunt Silvia... I give my heart to the Mom, firstest and mostest!!!

And to my GRRH family, I not just give heart but owe all that's mine.

Who woulda thunk one year ago when I (bout this time gettin fixed) in Waco kennel that I missin all I got now.

Strong spirit I got and held on cause I just knew all Heaven gonna break loose one day.

Got hellish stuff to fight still but didn't struggle (survive or waste that near year) for life... to roll over wifout big fight. Just sayin.

Good thing is now got the Mom who fight ever bit hard as I do. Bad things got big foe in two of us...

She get teary sometime and it new for Luke to have someone in his bizness (hair and skin, nose to patooty) most all time but put up wif it on a counta it feel so good to be center of world.

Put aside the Mom's pair of noids and she bout best thing ever happened to me! Just sayin.

Day 96: Misery, But In It For The Long Haul

There's no other word for it.

If I cajole myself to look for the silver lining:

1. I got to go on two long walks today.

2. I got to go on a long trolley ride wif my nose jammed into the a/c vent.

3. A few cool airs came my way under the sweet roof. Not many, but a few.

4. Visited with Aunt Monica and Uncle Oscar on the outside.

5. Sniffed noses with Cousins Nacho andn Winston, too.

6. I'm not in a Waco kennel. And that should be 'nuff said.

Truth is... weather's hot. Life's grim. And most peoples and puppies is runnin outta hope... but not ole Luke!

Even in my misery, I know this is the best gig ever... true love overcomes hot airs, darknesses and incomunicados.. something like 19 times out of 20. Pretty sure I read that 'tistic somewhere.

Any ways... I'm with the Mom for the long haul. And that's a fact.

Day 88: The Mom and LuLu Have Each Other

Woke to mostly clear skies and cool airs this mornin... well, that and a ringin phone. The factry called to tell the Mom not to come in. Hate to tell em, but I wasn't lettin her leave anyway.

The Mom missed the nay-bor-hood ice run, and she had what she sobbed to me was "a moment". She sat down in the back yard and cried. Never saw that before... thought the woman was a pillow of strength.

I leaned into her and put my head into her lap to let her know she's not alone. I know she feels it cause all the other peoples got other peoples... and wasn't long ago I had not one and she had not LuLu.

So we reminded each other of that and ole gal resolutely picked herself up by her tennis shoe strings and led me back into the house.

Now she's out there hammerin and cajolin the side fence into a standin position, and Mr. G came out to help.

Looks like before long ole LuLu gonna have free range again!

Day 79: My Fantasy Comes True About A Year Too Late

If you're as lucky as I am, you may live long enough to realize your fantasy. But you might find, like I did today... that it's a year or more too late!

You see... back in Chapter One, I dreamed of a day like today... where I found myself on the inside of the house enjoying the cool airs and the television... and the peoples were locked outside the doors against their will.

Such was the case when the Mom locked herself out of the house this morning. And I experienced a quick moment of deep satisfaction until...

My fantasy failed me as my new Mom talked to me through the door. And I wanted more and more to just be on WHATEVER side of the threshold she was on!

Took her a while and a lot of banging, but we were reunited... and I was ONE HAPPY LULU!

Day 71: A Golden Retriever's Thoughts On A Hurricane

A boy from Waco, such as myself, got no real concept of what a hurricane is. Till now, I just thought of it as a tourist attraction... another way the hometown filled her hotels!

I'm gettin' that things are different 'round these parts, so I'm watchin' and bservin'...









Here's what I know, for now...

Hurricanes mean... Lots-o lists and incomin' stuff:

jugs-o-water
loaves of bread
food that don't need heatin'
junk food for mental health
bat-trees
bat-tree operated fans
toilet paper
pro-pane (whatever that is)

So far, I like hurricanes! Guess I'll know more by the END of this "holiday" weekend. Stay tuned!

Day 11: Room-inations

Mom's gone back to what she called 'hell' when she left this morning. (her word, not mine. Still not sure what happens to a boy for hoppin' on fur-niture around here, much less cursin'!) And by 'hell', ya'all, I'm guessin' she meant the factory...

So I find myself here, free to roam the rooms of this here bed-n-breakfast / four paw luxury vacation spot. And I'm likin' it!

Thinkin' many unleashed thoughts about freedom, security and comfort while tryin' to tie down my feelin's about the Mom. I mean...

Is she crazy? Is she testin' me? Is there some switch that I might eventually yet accidentally flip? Why is she doing and providing all of this? Does she REALLY love and trust me?

I want to believe her. I do. But I can't. I don't.

You can't blame me, because not one of you knows Chapter One. If you did, you'd understand. I survived many years by squashin' my will. My almost fatal error was when that will unleashed and went full throttle. Mighta been a big mistake, but I don't think so now. It just mighta been the best thing ever... Might shoulda done it sooner, but ain't gonna question timin'. Kinda like thinkin' I'm right where I'm meant to be!

Luke's Rating System

Zero Paws: World done you wrong. What you got is what you stole.

One Paw: You got some of the basics, like maybe square meals, but shelter is iffy (indoors... what's that?) and you long for 'family' but you ain't feelin' it.

Two Paws: You got the basics of square meals, shelter (indoors and outdoors), but you don't quite feel like you rank 'family' status. Whatcha call second class citizenship.

Three Paws: You got yummy square meals, snacks in between, indoor and outdoor shelter, peoples trying more to change than understand you, medical attention as required... and you rank 'family' but no better. A pretty good place to find yourself!

Four Paws: Meals, snacks, meds. almost full time personal assistant, doorman and valet (time off is by necessity and to keep you humble), freedom to be, understanding of how you be, leading and confidence building, Treated way better than family and living as well as you could ever hope. Just short of over the top!

Four Paw Belly Up!: Over the top conditions! A celebratory leap from your station in life, whatever that might be! Everyone needs over the top spoilin' from time to time. Speakin' only for myself, ain't never had any till these last few months. And Ole C.H. could get used to these momentary luxuries!

There are all sorts of subtleties to my rating system, but for now, I'm holding those really close to the flanks... I'll explain the rest later!

Day Three: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep...

And as my lids grow heavy, I'm etching names on my heart... of all to whom I owe my second life... to those who believed in me and to those who looked me in the eyes, reading the list of my hopes and dreams and determined themselves to make them come true:

"To everything there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under Heaven.

A time to be born, and time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted".

To The Letter Writer of Chapter One: I know this has been hard on you, too. Thanks for doing what you could, and know in the end that you did what was best. My wish for you is the magnitude of love, hope and happiness that I've found... and none of the uncertainty, hurt and fear that I've felt along the way. All's well that ends well, they say... so go to bed tonight knowing that all's truly well.

"A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up".

To Fuzzy Friends Of Waco: Your many acts of kindness and nurturing, your hopes that were invested in me... are etched on my heart. I'll not let you down.

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn,

and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones,

and a time to gather stones together".

To Golden Retriever Rescue of Houston: Wow. Where do I begin? I guess, first... thanks for the lift! You know... from Waco to Houston, my spirits, etc. Uncle Tom, Aunt Madison, Aunt Karen and Aunt Melinda... you were a whirlwind of love, attention, devotion and promotion. And thank you, most of all, for seeing to it that my second life... Chapter Two, if you will... plays out well. Here's hoping that my writings here are just a brief respite from the joyous dance of your match-making!

"A time to to embrace... A time to get.. A time to keep...
A time to sew...A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love... and a time of peace".

To My New Mom and/or Summer Camp Counselor Extraordinaire: Your nuttiness is growing on me... I find your neuroses endearing. Really, I do. I like that you speak to me with kindness and that you like me way more than the things in your house. I even like that silly baby talk thing you do, the way you smooch my nose and just up and hug me for no apparent reason. I like that you sit with me outside, that you come in when I'm ready and sit with me inside. I like to follow you. You look spectacular from behind. I like that if I bolt, you'll chase me with bloody feet till you catch me. I like that you let me know that I've crossed the line of what's expected of me, but you don't hold a grudge. Thank you for your attention, your cool floors, soft beds, fresh waters and tasty foods. And thank you most of all for including me in so much that you do. Gulp. I think... I love you!

Day One: First Thoughts & Smells

Ever have one of those days when you wake up thinking life will be one way... and then it ends up another? I've had a lot of those days lately... today, included.

Morning dawned just like the others these last two weeks, but late morning, I was treated to a car ride! I was as pleased with 'Academy' as the destination as I was to greet the attentive and shmoopy woman I first met two days ago.

She introduced herself this second time as 'Mama', seeming captivated with me, yet again... and before I knew it, I had a new necklace with new jewelry and was in her car, snacking on Buddies Biscuits,sipping spring water from a cup and listening distractedly to her many 'babblings'.

We reached this new place some twenty minutes later and deboarded. Guided on my new leash, I quickly explored both the indoor and outdoor environment.

It seems like not a bad place. There's a comforting and homey smell about it, and there's fresh waters, treats, gifts and a new bed laid out for me.

It might be a trap... ain't quite sure. My history is built on a shaky foundation; I've been uprooted and abandoned. The kindnesses, comforts and securities shown me by my angels has been TOO incredible to trust in full just yet.

And while everything seems to be on the up and up here, if I've learned anything, it's to be wary. This 'Mama' seems over the top shmoopy, so I can probably take her if I have to... but I might need to just 'hear' her out.

Four (Paw) Word: Breaking the Bonds of Writer's Block

Writer's Block. There's nothing quite like a long car ride with cheerful and hopeful spirits to break it.

Somewhere between Waco and Houston, I managed to put this little letter of introduction together:

I prefer Luke - my full name is "Cool Hand Luke."

While most say beware of the "Ides of March," I think it is a great date - I was born 3/15/99.

Most say I am your typical golden. I love people, attention and pleasing you. My only real hang-up is a fear of thunderstorms when I really want to be calm and quiet indoors.

I understand GRRH is careful to find happy homes that include the golden inside. That will be a welcome first for me. I was mostly an outside dog in my previous life and have been in a Waco kennel since last September. As much as I love to be outdoors and play, I really think I would blossom in the comforts of your home.

I am healthy, wise and low maintenance, unless you want a whole lot of love. I can really "dish it out," yet I have never been described as needy. I can run circles around pups half my age and would really like to take you for a walk sometime soon.

Luke

I didn't want to give too much of myself in the letter, but I didn't want to hold too much back, either. After all, this is my chance for a second life... my Chapter Two.

I thought of adding... "seeking stability and long term relationship, first and foremost... with doting mother, kisses galore, doors opened at my will, tasty treats, soft beds, cool temperatures, plush toys, evening walks and bedtime stories"... but I didn't want to sound overly hopeful or anxious.

I feel good about these people who've given me a lift. I think they read the full content of my eyes and between the lines of my letter. And I know they're looking out for me.

Chapter One: Abridged Content Because I'm Content Now!

Chronicler: A noun. A student or writer of history <chroniclers who gave often conflicting accounts of what the king did or commanded>.

Look in my eyes.

I'm Luke. And in my first life, I was a chronicler... of good times and sad. I figured, life is what you make of it. And I made the most of what I had. I was good and patient and loving.

I gave what I had to give, but then there were times when I needed. And sometimes you just need what you need really badly. And that's the look you see in my eyes.

In a fit of hope, I've shed the content of Chapter One. I'd like to say those memories have been swept away... but not quite yet, maybe never. That might not be a bad thing, because our histories build our characters... and "to everything there is a season".